August 2011
4 posts
“You know when they shear sheep they get wool? Well. They cut off all their...”
– Drake Kelly, explaining the process by which we get wool.  
Aug 15th
“I am both an artist and a creatist. That means. I’m artistic. And I...”
– Drake Kelly, while using his chalkboard to engineer his latest invention.  
Aug 14th
1 tag
“A makeup party is when you makeup. Like you know. You get in the jewelry box...”
– Drake Kelly, commenting on a photo of a group of Aunt Cindy’s friends from 1997.
Aug 14th
1 tag
“Drake: I have a girlfriend. Grammy: Who is she? Drake: I don’t know...”
– Conversation between my mother and my nephew this weekend.  
Aug 7th
June 2011
1 post
“I know what they’re thinking. They’re thinking that house is...”
– Drake Kelly, watching Monster House. 
Jun 4th
May 2011
10 posts
1 tag
“My lungs just got all tangled up.”
– Drake Kelly, after coughing.
May 26th
1 tag
“Where did I put that big magnet? I need to mag sumping.”
– Drake Kelly
May 26th
1 tag
“Big girls are too hard to fight.”
– Drake Kelly, on the secret to the universe.
May 25th
“You know what this looks like? This looks like the road to a YETI.”
– Drake Kelly, as we were driving up Raindrop Road to the farm where my grandmother grew up.  
May 17th
“I wear hot heels I wear sweet shirts I’m going to count down singing on...”
– Drake Kelly’s version of “You Belong with Me” by Taylor Swift.
May 17th
1 tag
“That building is 100 feet tall. That building looks 600 feet tall. 600 feet...”
– Drake Kelly, 5 (While driving down Liberty Avenue, Pittsburgh Pennsylvania, May 9, 2011).  
May 10th
1 tag
“Drake: Do you like to know about my new bention? The Nail Bention 2000 if you...”
– (Nail Bention 2000 is a piece of styrofoam with nails and screws stuck in it.  Girlfriend Bention is a medicine box with a snowglobe on top of it.)
May 8th
May 8th
May 6th
May 6th
October 2008
3 posts
“It wasn’t like The Breakfast Club, it was like high school.”
– Dawn Hill, character in Cold Case’s “Detention” episode.
Oct 6th
Bobby and the Amazing, Disappearing Laundry Soap...
My brother uses more laundry detergent than anyone else in the Western Hemisphere. It’s a mystery.
Oct 1st
Dictionary of Similes
I just got this ancient dictionary of similes. It’s such an outrageous find that it feels like heaven.
Oct 1st
September 2008
2 posts
I am a peanut butter sandwich (if it’s true that you are what you eat)
Sep 10th
Sep 8th